If you're not gay, then what's wrong with the old fashioned way?

So I'm sure you've heard by now Clay Aiken is going to be a daddy. Yup, I voted for him on Idol, I think he probably sold more records than that black dude anyway. He refuses to admit that he's gay, yet, his babys mama was artifically inseminated. That screams gayness to me.

Poke!

So I've called in sick to work for 2 days, I came in today, even though I'm not really fully here. I'm hacking shit up, my throat hurts like I've swallowed sand, I can't hear anything, I have to breathe through my mouth and the antibiotics my doctor gave me make everything taste like pocket change. Oh, and I'm not even hungry... it's 11:30 and I'm not hungry, weird?

So I'm wearing comfy clothes and my feet are all swolen because being sick just throws my whole medication chemistry off so I'm wearing cheapo flip flops because they feel good. Yes, of course the president of the bank was in my office this morning and I saw him glance at my feet... just wonderful. At least my toes have pretty flowers right? So I'm sitting here, trying to get geared up to do something, and there's this poke... I adjust the bra straps and feel it again... poke.... yup... broken underwire! Send my ass home! Please!

Book O' the Week:

Finally finally finished Love in the Time of Cholera. Slow read, it was pretty good, came highly recommended by a reading buddy of mine. Very well written, wouldn't call it a 'beach book' though, too poetic and I'm not a big fan of the historical fiction. So without further ado, here's what I will be starting next:

I am woman hear me roar!

So, I cut grass... I actually enjoy it, when I remember to charge my mp3 player that is (doh!) So anyway, this is what I do when I get done cutting grass.

Yup, I back de trailer with de mower back into my driveway. Not my neatest try but at least I do it. Today, this was complicated. Keep in mind, I've been working on this for awhile. It's not my favorite thing to do but I've been trying to build up my confidence at it so I'm not so terrified. Today this was complicated. I get home with my mower on my trailer and go to back it in, and the guy down the street that John is friends with (Danny) decides to watch me. Nay nay... not cool at all! Then he gets in his truck and pulls up behind me and starts blowing his horn at me. Stressin me out! I think I deserve an *A* for effort.

Uh......

I'm a huge David Cook fan, can't wait to see his first concert actually! I'm hoping he can make it as a single rocker dude (Bryan Adams) as opposed to needing a band (every other male rocker in the world) but I think he's probably going to wind up with a band in order to be long-term successful. So, I was cruising the news this morning and I found this on the news, and it kind of concerns me. I'm mostly concerned that they're talking about me quite honestly because I am older than him. Apparently the 'Cougars for Cook' were the ones that put him over the top.

Things I learned from watching the American Idol finale.

- The Davids should never sing together again, ever!
- Donna Summers is living proof that 'black don't crack'
- Bryan Adams should ask Donna about botox
- For a music show, AI's sound guy sucks hard
- Paula kept all her prom dresses from the 80's
- Graham Nash knows a thing or two about botox, he looks almost lifelike
- OneRepublic are white dudes!
- Jordin Sparks needs a new stylist
- If the Jonas Brothers are looking for a new member, I hear David Archuleta is looking for a job
- George Michael gets gayer by the day, but he had some super cool songs
- There's *something* about Seal
- Carrie Underwood should try eating more
- Movie promotions make the world go 'round
- Nobody will ever see ZZ Tops face
- Sometimes America does get it right

Website of the day

This is actually very cool and I wish I had the time and creativity to participate. Swap-bot facilitates swaps of mostly inexpensive homemade items nationwide and across the country.

Invasion of the Russians!

Obviously I went to Ocean City this weekend. Where they employ a very large amount of Russians and eastern Europeans this time of year. Most of these people are early 20's, probably in college. One in particular got my attention. She worked at this coffee shop about 200 feet down the boardwalk from where we were staying. She was quite 'modelesque'. Very thin, big blond hair, very sharp features. I can't say that she was especially attractive but she was definitely striking. So I'm making my morning jaunt out to get caffeinated and there she is, and there's her boss (I'm assuming) sitting in the corner behind the counter pulling a major schmooze on her. He's all: hey baby, how would you like to be able to sleep in every now and then, not have to get up and work so hard every day.

I truly thought I would vomit. Who did this balding, fat, middle aged white man think he was tryin to get all up on this young Russian chick?? I don't think I was so naive that I didn't think this happened, but I guess I hadn't thought about it happening and the frequency that it could happen, or the fact that these kids are really trapped! They have some recruiter come to their college probably and offer them the opportunity of a lifetime working in a resort town on the beach and next thing they know, there's some fat white guy telling them they can't keep their job unless they fulfil all of his needs. See how easily this can happen? I really wanted to take this girl under my arm and run, John says she's not that stupid, she can stand up for herself, I sure hope so...

So darn gullible.

So yesterday I was checking out Craigslist, because Craig and I have a love affair. Well, as usual, I found the perfect thing on there. An underwater digital camera! I've been searching for one for ages but they're super expensive. I thought this would be great for vacation if we're snorkeling or even out on the boat because then we wouldn't care if it got wet.

So, I call up the girl who has it and she's in Berlin. Perfect, I'm going to Ocean City for the weekend, maybe we can meet up. Well, she's moving to Australia... tomorrow. But if I want, I can paypal her the money and she'll ship it right out to me within an hour. She'll have her bf scan the tracking since she'll be out of the country and then I'll be able to track it. Wonderful (I know what you're thinking, and you weren't on the phone with this sweet girl). I shoot her the money through paypal ($125) which is a freakin deal because on Amazon this camera is almost $300. So while I'm waiting for John to get home last night, I'm thinking... Because the girl was so sweet and honest on the phone... I hadn't gotten the email with the tracking number. So now I'm like, I'm totally not telling John about this because he's going to tell me how trusting I am and how nice it was of me to help fund this chick's move to Australia. Besides, why would you move to Australia (she's a surfer by the way) and not take your waterproof camera? dumb dumb dumb...

Well, I get home from cutting grass today, and there it is! All brandy new in the package. Included was a sweet little note from Kate telling me she included her camera case and a 1GB card for me. uh-huh.... not so dumb after all... The world can be trusted!

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up!!!

I rant to myself pretty regularly about this, because I don't love my job. It's not my job's fault though, I just got a generic degree in business and now I don't know what to do with myself. I couldn't have just stuck with what I had wanted to do since I was crawling around pooping myself (nursing). Nope, the classes didn't *challenge* me. So here I am. I could be making a lot more money, with better benefits, better hours... nope... wasn't challenged.

So, like many others, I come up with a different thing every week that I may want to do when I grow up. I don't have anything in particular standing out at the moment, but here's a list of things I've thought about. Please add to it.

- Social worker
- Vet (really I just want to learn to spay/neuter so I can justify having a cat refuge)
- CAD drawer
- Nurse
- Physical Therapist
- Professional gift buyer (hubby's idea)
- Shopping therapist (specializing in retail therapy! this is my favorite!)
- General manager of a retail store (note that there is no possibility of moving up, no shift or assistant manager, straight to the top)
- Estetition
- White Gayle King
- Dog groomer (but just so I can volunteer my time at the humane society making the critters prettier so people will take them home)

I just don't think any of these would be that hard, I just chose wrong at 18!

I love you Nine Inch Nails!

NIN is a little harder than what I normally listen to, but they do make great music. What's super great about them is, they have released their newest album to the public completely FREE! This isn't some no-name indy band trying to make a name for themselves, it's freakin Nine Inch Nails. They are so fed up with the music industry and the producers and all those people in the middle making so much money off of their creations, that they're just giving it to you. I just downloaded my copy, go right to their website and get it for yourself, they offer many formats to download in. They are true artists. I hear Radiohead is doing the same, I haven't checked it out yet.

How will I tell people where I live???

It's the end of an era here on my street. They have taken the water tower completely down now. It's really tragic, it's been there for like 100 years. I got home Wednesday and the 'lid' was gone. Then Thursday morning they were cutting the main tank with torches, Thursday night the legs were left and now there's just a nub that I can't see from my house.
Oh, the memories of the water tower, where do I start??? The night the drunks climbed up during the holidays and tried to steal the star. They actually got the star unattached, but the police were waiting for them as they scurried down. Making music with the water tower as we hit it with water balloons. I'm really going to miss the Christmas Lights most of all. Some inventive guy with the town would change the pattern of the lights each year: horizontal stripes, vertical stripes, candy cane stripes. It was super cool. So here's to you water tower, you will be missed by all!

I'm not going to starve through the economic crisis!

Thanks Karen! For scaring the living shit out of me! I guess next I'm going to go buy a cow since hamburger will be $10 a pound by the end of the year.

So I've been hanging out with one of my bff's Karen the last couple days, and lemme tell you, the girls' a genius. Really, she's the smartest woman I know and I know some very smart women. She's a news junkie like me and she's very in tune with politics and the way different things can affect our every day lives. So, we've decided through our last couple conversations that there's no way the US can pull out of the oil crisis as quickly as everyone thinks and there's going to be some pretty major implications we will need to deal with in the meantime. We are a fuel driven country. Everything we touch, eat, need has to have fuel to exist. Everything that fuel touches, is going to increase dramatically the way we've seen fuel increase. I know that other country's have been paying more than we have for years (England and all those places to the right) and many places still pay way less (Iraq and that Chavez country) but the country's paying more, did not see this doubling of fuel within less than a year. Once this trickles down, it's going to have a major impact on things, I'm not going to get into my political stance on it (gas vaca won't work, stop filling the 'strategic' reserves, tell the elk to get over it for a few years...).

I know that I personally need to take steps to prepare myself and my household. So, I have my little tomato plant growing on my windowsill and last night I purchased (drumroll): a bread maker! Yup, thanks to the Bridgeville Goodwill for hookin a sister up with a brandy new bread machine for $20. And thanks for the yeast Karen! Here's my first loaf!

Baba Wawa was makin it with a black dude in the 70's!!!

What would your grandmother say??? What would mine say? I really don't know that mine would care a whole lot, my family always had a lot of tolerance for people who aren't 'exactly' like us. I don't think that 'tolerance' is a good word, because I don't feel like I just 'tolerate' people, I accept them, they're just like me, why wouldn't I accept them?

Anywho, I'm thinking there are some blue haired ladies sitting in the nursing homes that are just completely going apeshit with this revalation. Even though I wasn't quite around when this was going on, I know that a prominate well educated white woman did not make relations with a black man, regardless of his 'status'. While I can see many people's points that maybe Baba should've taken it to the grave, she obviously has something to prove by bringing her affair out, she's a very smart woman. I don't know her political affiliation (but I can guess!) and I have to wonder if it doesn't have something to do with that. She's also a lady in the sunset of her life and perhaps she wants to prove that she's not 'washed up' and there's plenty of spunk left in her. Either way, I'm still a fan, I think it's great that she came out and said that she had this affair. I would love to think that it would change the way people view inter-racial relationships. Right now there's definately a 'white trash' or 'wigger' stigma that goes along with it, but we both know that Barbara would certainly not be viewed as either of these.

Oh, it's on now!!!

Yeah, my neighbor... who scrubbed my house last weekend... I just saw him walking away from my front porch a few minutes ago. Thought it was strange, didn't ring the doorbell, I just heard the door shut. I waited a few minutes to see if he would come back. Then I got curious, so I went to the front porch to see if he left something. Here's what I found:







uh-huh... you know what's inside there don'tcha? What have I done to deserve having the nicest neighbor ever? I want to be the nicer neighbor! Just let me cut your grass each week in peace! Don't even thank me anymore. Scrubbing my house was way more than enough, I know how much Omaha Steaks cost and mowing your yard isn't worth that much! He's totally trying to nice-top me and I can't take it!

What is the deal with Tom Cruise???

So I watched the 2 part Oprah yesterday, and I just can't come to a conclusion. Is Tom crazy? Does his seeming like a crazy scientologist make him sexy and mysterious? Is he normal deep down but he likes the mystique? I really in my heart want to believe that Katie is normal. I desperately want to believe that beautiful little Suri is going to have the charmed life that she deserves. I just can't decide if Tom likes the attention or if he just doesn't know how he looks.

Pantry!

Well, it's almost done! Now I get to completely rearrange my kitchen. Here's John working last night:

Karma Police.....

I try to throw some random acts of kindness in my life when I can, and many times, I don't think about what I'm doing and that someone actually notices because I don't think most people are like me.

So... I've been cutting my neighbors grass for about a month now, because, he's hardly ever there to do it himself, he doesn't have a mower and he's the nicest person ever (I say he's so nice because he always adressess me by name, doesn't that seem to make people nicer?). I'm sure he knows it's me doing it, duh, our grass is suddenly short at the same time and our yards are attached. Since both of our yards are the size of a postage stamp it takes me on my super-duper hydrostatic lawn mower about 2 minutes and 100 turns to cut his grass.

So I get home this afternoon and the dude's scrubbing my house. Not the inside, he's scrubbing my siding! I'm all: Mike, whatcha doin? He's like: I just finished scrubbing my house this morning and I thought I'd do yours too.... uh.... I'm just not feeling like 4 or 5 grass cuttings = a scrubbed house. I can't cook so I guess I'll cut his grass tomorrow. Now when should I tell him we're about to replace the siding?

Go along for the ride with me....

I love black people, because they're just like me, only... you know... black. Different pigment, whatever. I'm always interested in our differences though because there are a lot of cultural separations between us and while I'm very interested in culture outside the US, there's a lot to be learned from our neighbors right here. So, I was talking to my mechanic last night (black dude) and we were chatting about politics and bitching about gas prices and I so desperately wanted to ask him who he was voting for. Because I really wanted to know! Not like that stupid journalist that was all like: who are the black women going to vote with, their race or their sex? I wouldn't demean someone like that, but here's an intelligent black man and I wanted his opinion. So, now that there's all this lead up, all I really wanted to do was share this website. Enjoy.

Book of the week

I finished 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' last night and it was wonderful, an absolutely amazing book. Right up there on my list with 'Water for Elephants' and 'Eat, Pray, Love'. So here's what I'm planning to start tonight:

Update 5-13-08: I'm still struggling through this book. It's good, I'm into it, it just took a while to get into it. I'm about halfway through and I haven't developed a love for any of the characters. I like them, but I'm not really interested in what happens to them.